Points To Ponder: Life Happens!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Life Happens!

This is an older post from Thanksgiving; however, the content works for every occasion and something I very much wanted to share.

So, I would love to say that my wish for the perfect preparation for the perfect Thanksgiving day went splendidly, but alas I cannot. For I am the queen of procrastination. I really did wake up this morning refreshed and raring to go, O.K. well maybe not refreshed or raring, for those of you who know me, but at least I woke up with a plan. Anyway, everything was going along splendidly until I realized what a monumental task lay ahead of me. So I did the unthinkable. I asked my amazing 16 year old daughter to give me a hand and completely clean the kitchen from top to bottom while I tackled the other cleaning that needed to be done. Sounded like a good plan to me. The cleaning would get done and I would not have to face the kitchen until I was ready to begin baking for tomorrow.

   Now in retrospect I should have know that asking her that question would be a mistake. She would either complain about the task then go about it with as much spit and vinegar that a teenage girl can muster or she would take on the task eagerly turning what should have taken half an hour into an all day extravaganza. Well it is 8:00 Wednesday evening and my kitchen is almost done. But I did not have to put up with an unhappy teenager all day and I now have an almost spotless kitchen so that right there are things to be grateful for.
    I on the other hand did not get anything of the task from my list done today. I have not gone shopping, but I did make my list. My living room is not vacuumed, but the vacuum is in the room. My bathtub did not get scrubbed, but guests will not be using it anyway. You get the point.
    So what do I have left to do tonight... EVERYTHING! But I will be doing it in a spotless kitchen with my amazing daughter who even though I did not set the best example today was able to take care of what needed to get done.
    We all have days when our best intentions are nothing more than that, intentions. Life happens and sometimes it just gets in the way of what we have planned. And that is O.K. We just need to be able to get back on track and begin again. Never stop making plans for your life for your day for you hour even if those plans don’t happen when you expect them to. They will happen when they are meant to.

1 comment:

LoritheOverchieverDecember 22, 2010 at 10:45 PM
I told you it would have been easier to just have dinner at my house, but nooooooooo. :)
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If You Think Your Relationship is Abusive... GET HELP NOW

Dominance ~ If your partner is an abuser; they will often feel an overpowering need to be in control of the relationship.

Humiliation ~ If your partner is an abuser; they will often want you to feel worthless and unlovable by another.

Isolation ~ If your partner is an abuser; they will often want to remove others from your life making you fully dependent on them.

Threats ~ If your partner is an abuser they will often times threaten you, your friends, family or children, and even in some cases threaten themselves in order to control you.

Intimidation ~ If your partner is an abuser; they will often try to intimidate and scare you into submission.

Denial and blame ~ If your partner is an abuser; they will often blame you, their day, even the weather, for the things they do. it is not their fault for anything they are doing (if they are doing anything at all).

Everyone has heard the term Human Rights, but did you know that if you are a victim of domestic violence your Human Rights are being violated.

Article 1 says ~ All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.

Article 3 says ~ Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

Article 5 says ~ No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

If you are being abused than your rights are being violated. Get help now! A life of abuse is not life at all.

Who Exactly Am I?

I have traveled a long way to finally find myself, well at least the self that I am today. I am many people. First and foremost I am me. I love to read and I am always writing. I enjoy quilting, being on the water, and I have four amazing children (16, 14, 12, and 6).

Gradually I will tell you about all my children, but to fully understand why and how I got started doing what I am doing I must brag about my eldest daughter just a bit. She is my pride and joy. She has restored my faith, not only in the world around me, but my faith in myself. She is also a major contributor to my insights on the the teenage psyche. Not that I am completely out of date, but the things I have learned while looking through her eyes are astonishing.

Everyone knows the child who is forever bringing home stray animals in need of shelter. Well that would be my daughter, except for the last ten years it has not been puppies and kittens she has brought to my doorstep, but rather children. “Fix her mommy, she is broken”. When she looked up at me with her big hazel eyes, so filled with tears and fear, what was I to do? I opened the door to the first child of many that would become a part of my family. She lived with us for several months, learning what it was like to be a part of a family, learning that there was nothing to fear and that even with rules and responsibilities there was no reason she could not be the person she wanted to be.

From that first moment when my daughter came to me pleading to help I have not looked back. My life was far from perfect at that point in time, but I never questioned or doubted that I had something to offer these girls that graced our lives. I had just walked out of a very abusive relationship when the she arrived. I was battling depression, PTSD, and agoraphobia. I was unemployed, terrified, and was not sure if I had it within me to open my eyes the next day, the only thing I did know was I have been in shoes, I could help. Of course there were days over the next several years when I felt like giving up, when my problems seemed to take over my world, but I knew I could not walk away. Partially because when I was ready to close my doors a new girl always showed up and my daughter would tell me “Mom you can do this! You have to”.

It has been almost ten years since that first child landed on my door step, and have learned that I can do this. I can do this and so much more.

I have beaten my agoraphobia, although there are times when I still feel that my bedroom is the coziest place around. While depression is still a part of me it is not a large part of me and it no longer defines who I am. I began working with a Steps program for battered women (I was a victim) and eventually I was leading the group. I became someone for people to talk to. My number was given out by strangers to strangers, for women and children to call when they needed someone to talk to, a place to go, or just understanding. I can not tell you the number of times I have been woken up in the middle of the night for an emotional discussion on the meaning of life or to drive all over the city looking for a child in crisis. I have now spread my wings even further and for the first time have begun helping men who are facing a troubled path.

I have no degree, my experience is what guides me. I grew up in an abusive home, spent time in the foster care system, have suffered rapes and beatings, the abduction of my daughter, abusive relationships, unemployment, and homelessness, yet at the same time, my life has been filled with wonder and excitement. I have found the love of my life, the most amazing man I have ever known, no words can describe what he means to me. He even understands the need my daughter and I have to open our home and help those who are not able to help themselves at this time. Though my step kids have had their own treacherous journey they are amazing children filled with love and compassion and they make each day an adventure. My eldest son is a gift all on his own. He is my athlete and scholar wrapped up tight in one enormous package with a heart filled with empathy and a mind with wonder.

When all is said and done and my time on this earth is through, my children, all my children, will be my legacy, my reason for being. The best I could ever offer.

My Favorite Quotes

Looking back, you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life -- and that person was you. It is not too late to become that person again. ~ Robert Brault

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss

One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, "Is it half full or half empty?" So I drank the water. No more problem. ~Alexander Jodorowsky

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~ Maria Robinson

Tomorrow always comes, and today is never yesterday. ~S.A. Sachs

The future influences the present just as much as the past. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

'There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.' - Oscar Wilde.

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.' - Maryon Pearson.

"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away." Shing Xiong

"I tell my child, if I seem obsessed to always know where you've been, it is because my DNA will be found at the scene." Robert Brault